I've been pondering, recently, where the line between concern and control is. Is there an age at which our concern for our children, played out in discipline and education, becomes control?
For example: When our children are small we limit what movies and television shows they watch, what video games they play, what they do on the computer... As they grow older we start easing up on the reigns and let them make these decisions for themselves with guidance from us. By this point they already know what we believe is appropriate and what is not, and hopefully we've also taught them why. Is it still concern for his well being when I don't allow my 15 year old to come to his own conclusions about these things, or is it now control? What about when he turns 18 and I'm still only allowing him to watch certain things and do certain things on the computer?
Personally, I think that every step of the way we must exert a certain amount of control because of our concern. I also think that we are failing our children if we don't turn more and more of those decisions over to them while they still have the safety net of home and we are still able to inflict consequences for wrong choices or rejoice in the consequences for good ones. I believe that's the only way we can teach our kids how to be responsible adults. Otherwise all we're doing is controlling them and stripping them of their power.
What say you all? Is there a line between concern and control?
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